The Forest, the Trees, the entire state, planted on a Quagmire

   Today the Arkansas Congressional Elect overturned the Governor's Veto of their poorly thought (if thought beyond control of women even entered into it) out 12 week abortion ban bill. Arkansas now has the strictest abortion laws in the country. Why wasn't legislation such as this brought to the people? This is beyond dictatorial. It is elitist bureaucracy that is single minded.  It is a BULLY  BILL. And it will do nothing that its High Moralistic Title will lead you to believe.
 1) It won't stop abortions. It will simply stop the protection of the the "medical procedure" that they were covered under prior to this law and slide them into back ally, underground "shops".
2) What are the penalties?  Do you throw a woman in jail for terminating a pregnancy? Or do you fine her? What exactly ARE the penalties?
3)  These legislatures that seem so very intent on protecting a fetus, magically forget the rights of the fetus once it becomes a PERSON.  Case in point...This Bill. 
     - the fact that you can receive a longer sentence in jail for harming a DOG than raping a 4MONTH (yes 4 MONTH) Old child. 10 years for the former, 4 years for the latter with no extenuating responsibility for the internal harm done to the child.
    - the fact that our Foster care system discards a person at the age of 18, as if 18 is a magical number and the Arkansas Educational system is so very intense and complete as to provide that person with the skills, back ground and resources to go forward supportless there on.
   - the Arkansas Juvenile Detention Center, where children are abused, neglected and turn out worse than they went in (or dead).
4) In order to stop the "need" for abortion, then education is key. Teach people about why being sexually responsible is important. Why abortion isn't birth control. Why respecting each other is valuable. Why abstinence may very well be the best choice.  But if you choose not to abstain, these are your risks. These are the consequences.  Do not take these lightly.  Seriously it may take time, but truly education and a moral / ethical/ oh-sex with the wrong person could kill me or at the wrong time could give me a baby I'm not ready for mindset to where people THINK first rather than live for the moment is the answer, Not horrific legislation that sends us back to the dark ages, giving other people control over another person's body and then totally disregarding the product of that legislation once it leaves the body they fought to keep it inside of.

DEAR RAY DON...

If you are at all a "Designing Women's" fan, you will have seen, and remembered the classic, RAY DON scene where she tears the creep a new one... I have new tears to rent. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7xS54IGEGI


Dear Ray Don:
     As shocking as it may be for you to realize; we brainless, witless, directionless females- who you seem to feel need your direction, guidance, criticism and assistance- manage to EVERYDAY, get ourselves to our jobs, pay our bills, service our autos, raise our children, manage contracts, assist our aging parents, and make other life changing and amazing decisions each and every day without a GLIMMER of your input.
   You like us, Ray Don, for our weaknesses. And you hone in on those in an effort to break us down. You befriend us. You are charming. Kind. Even complimentary and indulgent in your esteem building comments. And then you strike.  Because you want control.
  You, Ray Don, are the problem and not the solution. Bully for the woman who has built herself up enough to meet each and everyday with confidence in spite of the demons her walls keep out. You are a canker, Ray Don, in your sticky sweet infiltration of the walls; in your efforts to dominate and make her let go. And you don't get it Ray Don, in more ways than the vernacular.
  Giving in, to her confidence of control, is the key to her letting go.   Only then will she feel safe, and trust enough to open the the gate, and let down the drawbridge.
  But you won't ever, ever get that Ray Don.   And maybe, that is a very, very good thing.

-JSB, jr.
 

Karma(l) apples and oranges

There are things I do in life in which I seriously consider my karmic investment before embarking upon them. And there are other things in life in which I consider my personal investment more dear over my karmic investment, and so, with a fuck karma attitude, I simply dive in, and damn the consequences.   The lesson: I'm still here, people still love me, have not shunned me and I'm not incarcerated, homeless or quarantined. So...so far, so good.

Indelible Ink

  I was going thru some boxes of papers yesterday, and got physically ill. Its my own fault. But I was really surprised at my reaction. There were cards and love letters from my ex husband (from when we were dating and married) in them. I started reading them,then I started crying and then I threw up. It made me remember how great everything had been once upon a time, and how disgusted I became with how bad it got and how confused I was with how it wasn't fixable. It still leaves me in a state of shock sometimes.
   We are still friendly. He is a good dad to my daughter. Of that I am grateful.  And if I need help with something, I can depend on him to be there.  That said, we can still only take small doses of each other, when our personalities are at high dudgeon. And we have learned the art of shut up and find a reason to walk away.

I just discarded a LOT of other "input". I guess I just don't wanna talk about it. I'm done analyzing. The basic truth of the matter is I came across something that reminded me of something I once loved that is dead now.  And that is life. Now on to live the rest of mine.

**The final question though is will I discard the tangible evidence of the memories, or keep them around. I don't know the answer to that yet.**

Epiphany Rising

   Well. Hello Life and Thank You for the REVELATION and basic EFF-You that you have given me, all rolled up into one. It's so stunning and mind blowing it is flat out funny. IRONY, eat me.
   I have found him. The man. The DREAM GUY. The one who fulfills all of the requirements even my 15yr old self had wished for. Not Available.
   Regardless... all I keep thinking is "THIS is out there. The Dream Guy!And I stopped looking when I found LESS?STUPID!"

Life Lessons

   Life has a funny way of showing you truth. Sometimes it sneaks up on you and sometimes it knocks you down and obliterates everything else around you, so that you are left with nothing else but you and that truth, staring you down, blowing the dust out of the corners, sucking the air from your lungs.
  Sometimes, someone you have cared about for a long time, but who left you for greener pastures elsewhere,maybe repeatedly, will return. They will come back broken, sad, used up and needy. You may be at a time of your life when their open adoration and worship is welcome. Or you may not. You may be at a time of your life when it all feels a great deal too late. Too clingy. Too much too over the top. You don't need them anymore, or most certainly not like they seem to need you now. And they will begin to repulse you. They have burned up their welcome by the ever continuous yo-yo of use and toss. We are not disposable creatures and we do not come with toss and grab hearts. Sometimes, even though it hurts, like pulling out a really deep splinter, you have to remove them, bandage the wound, and let the scar heal for good. Never to pick at it again.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM
 Sometimes you come across someone you love. Always have loved. Won't ever NOT love. Still love. Lust even. And you can't have them. Not in whole. Well, maybe not really at all. You're friends. You stay friends and adore each other. And that is all it is. Maybe you aren't happy in the life that you choose. Maybe they aren't. But for whatever reason, they are choosing to continue down that path. You have to respect that. You don't want to. You want to do whatever you can to sabotage the situation and gain what you want. You might sit up at night and think up diabolical plans to win your spoils. Then your ache, the need, becomes just a little bit eased with the lust of greed. That is when the love becomes contaminated with selfishness. And slowly the hint of guilt burns itself up your gullet to your heart to remind you of its presence. To remind you of the original GIFT. Love. So you have a choice. You may be the destroyer and risk it all and in the end perhaps gain what you crave...or you may be the guardian, and wait, and watch and love. And in the end, perhaps, gain only peace. But know in the end you did it for love. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWxAO-3EWow&feature=related
 Sometimes, we are needed. Not as a whole, but in part. An ear; a shoulder; a casual distraction- and we give in- hoping to be needed in whole. Use me. However you need. I'll be fine. (LIER)We are promised nothing. Or often we *ARE* promised, nothing. Promised that nothing will happen, grow, become. Yet we still persevere. Doormat ourselves. Indenture ourselves as if to prove to the recipient that we are so much more, that refusal is futile. How can you turn down this love, devotion, wit, mind, amazing being? How can they indeed. But they do and they will, because they told you so. They told you at the start. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSflDD9BSRM&feature=related
 Sometimes our whole soul gets dried out and brittle and over used and simply crumbles to dust. Undone. Over done. Broken. Used. When life pours out on us. Drenching us in the dusty, drying truth. Sometimes we need to recede from everything and everyone else and simply be...alone. We sometimes need to be our own best loves, best support, best adorers. For whom else but ourselves can we simply trust the best. Trust to refresh our poor, dusty selves into the sweet, supple selves life can use up once again.                              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haQTlhWpeHs&feature=related

homeless

     when we touch it is electric. achingly magnetic. soul to soul. breathe in,breathe out-now banished.
     i am a casual distraction. or at least that is the lie. i can't breathe without him. i draw in short,shallow gasps of air. short,shallow gasps of existence. dull,unsatisfying. my entire being feels dull,unsatisfying--as if it were waiting for his touch to charge it. his touch to electrify the current. his touch to restart my heart. blow the dust out of the corners. wake up trust.
     he has his own demons. some real. some conjured. i must wait. wait for the light to burn through the darkness he draws himself into when the demons get too loud. he use to reach for me. but it scared us both. i have too much to lose and he has too much to gain and the insanity of the issues just overwhelmed us both.
    so we are at arms length. and it is slowly killing me. i miss his smile. i miss his touch. i ache for his touch. my heart misses its home. broken hearted at arms length from my soul. i could die this way....

But for the Grace of God...

A friend of mine is burying her son today. He died in Afghanistan of an IED explosion. He died doing his job as a Scout. He died the Hero and gentleman she raised him to be. The Patriot Guard is escorting him throughout the trip from the airport yesterday to the funeral home, during visitation and then today to his final rest. Bless them their kindness, their protection from the possible cruel attitudes of others that have risen of late. I refuse to give those manner less, hateful beings who live within the freedom attained for them by deaths like this boys, while they curse and defame and are protected by that freedom any more notice to even mention their names.
Below is a very lovely tribute to Loren. May he find sweet rest and May his mother find rest as well. They have both given so very much.

http://www.unknownsoldiersblog.com/2011/03/american-buffalo.html

ToWit Tonuttin'honey

  writing. Why does most of my best "writing" happen when I'm not actually "writing"? To wit: in the shower, in the car, at work during the middle of a time sensitive project, while sleeping....,. So basically, right now I have a lot of notes. Some physically written down, or typed or cryptically "memoed" on a sticky; others tucked back into my subconscious, hoping to return to the forefront again, at a more opportune and less wet/traffic filled/ currently owned by the man -time.
 If I could get all of these notes down, I'd really be 1/2 way thru this book. And probably a third of the way thru on of the musicals. Hmmmm Procrastination, thou art my Muse. And I would like to exorcise you to the nth degree...
 You see it is almost March and this is only my second blog entry of the year. Not that I haven't had TONS to say. I just haven't said it. I am seriously lacking   Motivation.
 My ex-husband wanted to be a writer (I say wanted- because he still has yet to attempt it). I suggested he get a mini tape recorder and keep it with him for notes when "writing" came upon him and "writing" wasn't  possible. Maybe I should take a little of my own advice.

Thou Shalt Not Suffer...

****See bottom for recent update to DADT vote.

   Recently, there has been a number of occurrences, bringing the current Evangelical Inquisition to task. Anne Rice has decided that tho she still embraces Christ, she will no longer allow herself to be called a "christian" as she does not wish to be saddled with the groups that perform such despicable acts of hate and intolerance as she has so recently witnessed against gay, lesbian and atheist members of society. I am pressed to agree with Michael Rowe who wrote "Anne Rice has never been more Christian" (i.e. Christ like). I also agree whole heartedly  with Anne. And it breaks my heart. I cannot and will not be a member of this current Cult of Hate.
    On Tuesday, September 21,2010, the Senate will attempt to break John McCain's filibuster which is currently blocking a repeal of "Don't Ask Don't Tell". This law is dubious at best. It allows for intrigue, hear say and blackmail in order to discharge soldiers who are diligently fighting for their country and following the law, yet become targets of anti-gay individuals who use whatever means they can to have the individual discharged.  Basically the law (which was set up to "protect" homosexual soldiers if they kept their sexual orientation to themselves)now makes being homosexual a crime. The law is not being enforced properly, but is being twisted and used against the soldiers it was set up to protect. It needs to be revoked. Americans are fighting for America. That is all. And that needs to be all. Period.  Lady Gaga has a Public Service Announcement that very succinctly spells it all out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG5VK2lquEc&sns=em

 As she said, they are not asking for you to give a vote for the moral implications of their actions, only to be fair regarding the protection of all Americans.

     This brings me to the other issue. Marriage. Just fix the freakin law. If it makes you happy, write in Covenant Marriage is a marriage between a man and a woman. Marriage is the joining of two previous separate entities, (be it businesses, countries, organizations, people, etc. ) that join to become one, combining resources, assets, liabilities and performance.  PERIOD.
     Allowing two people to marry who love each other is simply allowing them the same civil rights that any married couple receives.  The right to inheritance. The right to be present during health issues and to make decisions. The right to share insurance. The right to raise children. The right of joint ownership. The right of credit. The right of joint distinction. The right of rights.
    How would you feel if the person you have loved for 20 years is suddenly sick, in the hospital and their family has shut you out. You aren't allowed in the hospital room, aren't allowed to make the vital health decisions that the two of you talked about for years. Decisions the family doesn't know about. You know everything about your loved one. You know all the meds, history, everything. But you are out- and it's perfectly legal.  Worst case scenario- they die. You come home from work and find that the locks on the house have been changed, and there is a suit case on the front porch with a letter attached telling you that the possessions of the home are under protection of probate and once the estate is settled by the family you will be contacted as to when you will be allowed back in.
You are not allowed to help with the funeral.
You have to read in the paper when it is and aren't included in the obit.
You are basically now homeless (but you still pay the mortgage cause your name is also on the note), living out of a suitcase and you have lost your love.
This is a nightmare lived by Gay and Lesbian partners all the time.
Now before you say, "well, that's what they get for living in sin."
Think. If you were in the same position, not married but living with your love (for whatever reason) how would you feel? Would you want to be shut out of the life you had built? And the Law is not on your side? They can even freeze your joint banking account.
       These people are ASKING for VALIDATION of their lives. They are not asking for free handouts. Not asking for debit cards or money or homes or bailouts. They are just asking to be allowed to live, unharrassed.  They simply want what everyone else has. They want to have the option of FAMILY INSURANCE. They want the option of one person working at home and one working in the field. They want the option of being a family. They want the right to just be. And its no ones business if they are Gay, Lesbian, Straight or Vulcan, Black, White, or Green. They live on this planet and breathe this air and were born AMERICAN. ALL Americans should have ALL of the rights and privileges of EVERY other AMERICAN. Unless they forfeit those rights by treason or another alienating crime. But who you sleep with isn't criminal as long as you are all adults. Please remember the more rights we deny one group, the more rights will be denied others. Its a vicious cycle, but one that occurs, because voters will vote vengeance.  But when we stop feeling with hate and stop thinking with contempt; we can change this world. We can turn it around. We can start making it FAIR. Fair is so close you can just reach out and touch it. It just means turning our backs on the past, and putting ourselves in the present.

UPDATE: They let us down. The Legislature failed to meet the expectations of the people and bailed on the opportunity to vote on repealing DADT. Basically they wimped out. They didn't want to deal with it and in order to make it less appealing Harry Reid attached a provision that really brought out the Republican anti-vote on this: "an immigration measure that would create a path to citizenship for certain illegal aliens who arrived in the United States as children." 
So two things need to happen. First we must refuse to rehire these people who refuse to actually work for us. And second, we must require a mandate be passed that earmarks are illegal. CLEAN BILLS must be required. If it is a DADT then it is solid and only for DADT. If you want a immigration measure, then it must be clean and clear for immigration. No piggie backs, no ear marks, just plain, clean legislation. PERIOD.
Call your legislators today and let them know that in as much as they voted for DADT you will be voting for them. Its only fair and you consider it your 'CIVIL' duty.

Don't make me come back there!!!

      When did manners go out of style? When did 'style' ever dictate manners? This is a sad turn of society when people do not have the aplomb to carry themselves with the grace of common courtesy and decency.
       Seriously. I understand we are part of a casual culture. But there are still times in this world that dressing in your best or better clothes, speaking in proper English, and using basic manners are necessary. Here's just a few of my biggest peeves:
1.) Looking for a job: My mother would have skinned me ALIVE if she had seen me applying for a job (and it didn't matter where to or for what - poop scooper or CFO) dressed (or not dressed) in the way people present themselves today. Untucked shirts. Jeans. SHORTS and FLIP FLOPS. Seriously? Put on a tie, pull your pants up to your waist with a belt. Girls, no boobs, butts or bellies and wear panty hose. Hell, wear panties.
2.) Yea, uh huh, yep. Please drop these words from your vocabulary when you are addressing anyone of whom you owe respect; would like to receive a salary from; assistance from; a judgement in your favor; a gift, instruction or who has lived longer than you. Use: Yes Sir, No Sir, Yes Ma'am and No Ma'am. Practice. These words also apply when you are on the Service end of Customer Service. Again Practice. This is NOT just a Southern thing, it is a MANNERS thing. AS in POLITE.
3.) I don't really give a warthogs hind end where you came from, who your daddy was or wasn't or what your mama made you do when you were small. I am not the cause of those things and do not deserve the effect. What I do care about is where you are now and how you plan to impact my day with your attitude. Adjust accordingly.
4.) If and when you are EVER required to present yourself in a Court of LAW; at a Job Interview; at an Interview for ANYTHING (prep school, college, grad school, for an apartment, whatever); To Attend a SOCIAL EVENT (as in a wedding; a funeral; a baby shower, wedding shower;)Opera, Theatre, please dress appropriately. If you would put it on specifically to wear to WAL-MART, do not wear it to the above mentioned functions. If you could be mistaken as a gardener, a sleep walker, a sports fan, a kardashian or a pimp you are not dressed appropriately for the above mentioned functions.  Wrinkles may add character to a face, but they do not add character to your clothes. Adjust accordingly.
5.) We have all had bad things happen in our lives. Granted. But each of us has to make a living, pay our bills,keep going and stop bitching. So do that. Do not victimize the entire world or hold your office hostage with your bad attitude because someone isn't nice to you or didn't say hello to you this morning. Put on your bigkid underroos and get on with it. In the real world you don't get a trophy for showing up; and mommy doesn't clean up what you don't finish. You get a paycheck and get to keep your job if you do it. If you don't - buhbye!!!
6.) Say Thank You, when someone has condescended to shop in your store and bothered to purchase something. They didn't have to. They are not an interruption to your day. They just help provide you with a little job security. Show your appreciation.
         I'm sure there are more, but that's all I can come up with right now. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
Maybe we need ADULT COTILLION Classes... hmmmm...

Love ALL... Let God Sort it Out

  OK, so I have friends who are Atheists. I have friends who are Gay. I have friends who are Gay Atheists.  And I love them. All. Very much. I would just as much stand in front of you and tell you that we must support their civic rights to equal rights of partner choices and spiritual/philosophical choices as I would support my Faith-believing friends and my hetero-friends. 
  This has nothing to do with anything other than Love.  If I love you as my friend I must want you to have fair, equality. I may not understand your preferences; but if they do not HARM they cannot be denied. This is a free will society, established (if those of faith will agree, and those not will indulge) by a God at its creation to provide everyone with FREE WILL through Love and Grace.  Everyone is allowed those paths.  Granted every path has its own consequences and circumstances, but it is all FREE WILL.
   So when you see someone, whom you feel you have the right, by your "moral code" to hinder and chain through your resolve, rules and regulations; please first put yourself in that place and strip yourself of everything you are stripping this fellow earth dweller of.  Then ask yourself, "Is this really worth this kind of punishment? " and "What would I do to keep this from happening to me." and finally "Where is the love? "  Ask these things, that is, if you can clear the hate from your throat.

Please don't follow me, I run into walls...

     I honestly cannot even begin to express how horrorfied I become when someone says they need or want to be more like me. REALLY, you DON'T know what you're saying. I am a huge mess and I'm either hiding it really well or you just aren't looking at the right angle.
    Thankfully, providence has provided me with an insider. Someone brave enough, patient enough (this is a miracle in itself), and honest enough to call me out on the perverbial (and sometimes literal) carpet regarding my haphazard ways. Ok, so I don't drink to excess, I don't do drugs, I don't power shop... so what do I do that is so very dangerous. Well, I rescue people. I put myself in dangerous situations and rescue those who really need to learn to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and do for themselves.
   Sometimes the rescueing is as simple as taking on an extra task at work. That may not seem dangerous at all. Not at first. But once you've said yes to a few others, your work load increases; you are outside your job description; you are basically working for free; and suddenly the folks who handed off their work to you are getting promoted for outstanding work performance and you are getting written up because you are lagging behind and missing deadlines.
  So, I'm gonna learn to work within MY box.  Stay on MY side of the desk and let everyone else work their own little world.  I will gladly be an ear, but I will not fret over what I can do to save someone from their circumstances, until I have sufficiently saved myself (and my clone) from myown.  See, this is the "healthy selfishness" I had been talking about last year.  Learning to say no for a reason. Learning to say no, because I have already said yes to other things, and it is OK.
  Now if I can just wrap my brain around some of the other wisdom I've been presented with, there is no telling what kind of wonders you'll see posted here in the future.
  Until next time,
this is Dramarella- signing off.....

An Priest, a Lawyer and a Buddhist walk into...

    So, browsing through some quotes the other day by Thomas More- and later by HHDL (the Dalai Lama)- I was struck by the similarity of the philosophy behind the words.  Also within this similar vein is the philosophy of Erasmus of Rotterdam (an English Priest also living at the time of Thomas More, and also pressed into service by Henry VIII like More as well).   
   Anyway, I am intrigued.  Interested as to the parallels of these 16th century philosophers and this 21st century Dalai Lama.  Interested enough to consider it a worthwhile endeavor to study. Perhaps to even write more than a few blog entries about. 
All three point to a number of basic, fundamental truths (and I use the word fundamental as in "foundational", not as in "fundi" ala christian strain) of love, respect, giving, generosity, positivity, tolerance and grace.   Interesting.
  I'll keep you "posted".

Sometimes the Clothes Do Not Make the Man

I was informed last night that the mom of a friend of the clones stated, upon seeing me in my goth dudes (Black Tank,Orange Gauze skirt,Black Sandals), that I must be a Pagan. Really?
I could start down a VERY interesting path regarding attire identifying individuals moral and spiritual compass'; but those who would "get it" are probably already halfway down the tunnel with me, and those that wouldn't are in the group that think a woman asks to be raped by wearing a short skirt.


Done Now.

Table for One

Ok. So I piddled around in one of those "single mingle" sites a few days ago. OMG! NO! NO! NO! HELL EFFING NO! and a RESOUNDING NO! I hope you understand that I didn't quite dig it.

First, let me explain that I went on as anonymous as possible. Used a pseudonym, didn't post a picture, didn't really list a lot about myself, just basic likes and ice breaker questions; so maybe I wasn't being fair. But OMG. What the rubbish net drug in. There's a reason some of these folks are on this site. The only time they see the light of day is when there is a casting call for Larry the Cable Guy's next movie and they need extras for 'family'. Some of these guys looked like their favorite meal was roadkill. And their most recent meal was Cellblock 4 Blue Plate Special.

Last night I had nightmares about going out with one of these woohas and hearing the girl on the speaker at TasteeFreeze ask "do you want fries with that" and hearing Slingblade Boy answer "mmmmhmmm".

So basically, this has pretty much done it for me. When I closed out my account the auto(don't go yet) message asked me, "Are you sure? What about these Hot Guys, who sent you messages." and up popped next weeks lineup for the central Arkansas Meth-Lab sting. "Delete".

Life Cereal

   I need to fix things.  I have this inate need to make things right.  Even when they aren't my responsibility or my own problem, I still work on them (even if its just in my head).  I can't help it and I can't make it stop.  Its as much of who I am as my naturally curly hair.  Or my very loud and obnoxious laugh.  Its just me.
   So being a fixer, I also have become a digger.  I can find an answer to anything.  And that makes me the go to person.  I'm not in charge, but I am your answer girl.  Sometimes it gets kinda annoying, when other "go to people" (by profession) come to you for answers; but whatcha gonna do? You graciously address the issue and then curse them after they leave.  It always happens to me that I become the go to hub. Doesn't matter where I work, what my title is or how high or low I am in the chain.  I've even tried to be low key, and not show my "hand".  Doesn't work.  Somehow, someway someone will catch on and then its out.
   I'm not complaining.  I like feeling needed.  I love challenges.  I love working out problems.  But it can get me into situations where I am working outside of my job description (what a joke- I don't even know what those things are anymore), my job grade/pay quartile, and can result in 1.) my having projects that require more authority than my position allots; 2.) producing work which I am not sufficiently compensated and which does not earn me sufficient increase (tho deserved) at review time 3.)but earns me much in brownie points as a team player (ugg) as it aptly benefits the organization.  
   I'd hold my breath for that gift of a salary/position for all my hard work, but I have a 16 year old to raise.  TAH.

et tu Brute'

  I know someone- maybe its me- who doesn't know how to appreciate her friends.  Friends are human and make mistakes. OK. They apologize and you move on generally.  But sometimes an evil meany gets hold of a person and that person wants to punish a friend for their sin. Continuously. And in public.  And its worse if the sinner happens to work with that person. They can't avoid them easily and may sometimes be placed on projects together. Nice. Play nice. Sure.
 Well, having witnessed, first hand this kind of emotional waterboarding; I have come to the conclusion that life is just too short to torture the people you love and it is also too short to surround yourself with people who are petty enough from the beginning to become sabatours as described above.  So Buh- Bye.

Really?

Warning: Aunt Flo Discussion- Run Boys if you can't handle it.  
Ok, I've had it.
Who in the holy F*** decided that "Have a Happy Period" was a good freakin' ad campaign?  I mean is this REALLY selling Always Products? Cause frankly, it makes me determined NOT to purchase their products. I'd rather buy the store brand and have to use TWICE as many than to support, "Have a Happy Period."
I could go into a long, disgusting diatribe as to WHY having the equivilant of an
oozing wound between your legs for a week would not constitute a happy occaison, but I won't.  But I am SERIOUSLY tired of hearing that catch phrase on commercials. Seriously. Try another angle.  I still won't buy your products, but I
probably won't feel inclined to publicly slam you either.
Your choice.

Ophelia Undone

My lord, I have remembrances of yours,That I have longed long to re-deliver;I pray you, now receive them. -Ophelia Hamlet A3S1W.Shakespeare

"Away From Me" Amy Lee

I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds
But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to
Lost all faith in the things I have achieved
And I