Monday, August 29, 2011


...I take a deep breath and it does nothing but settle me further into my contemplation of him;

Monday, August 8, 2011

Indelible Ink

  I was going thru some boxes of papers yesterday, and got physically ill. Its my own fault. But I was really surprised at my reaction. There were cards and love letters from my ex husband (from when we were dating and married) in them. I started reading them,then I started crying and then I threw up. It made me remember how great everything had been once upon a time, and how disgusted I became with how bad it got and how confused I was with how it wasn't fixable. It still leaves me in a state of shock sometimes.
   We are still friendly. He is a good dad to my daughter. Of that I am grateful.  And if I need help with something, I can depend on him to be there.  That said, we can still only take small doses of each other, when our personalities are at high dudgeon. And we have learned the art of shut up and find a reason to walk away.

I just discarded a LOT of other "input". I guess I just don't wanna talk about it. I'm done analyzing. The basic truth of the matter is I came across something that reminded me of something I once loved that is dead now.  And that is life. Now on to live the rest of mine.

**The final question though is will I discard the tangible evidence of the memories, or keep them around. I don't know the answer to that yet.**