when we touch it is electric. achingly magnetic. soul to soul. breathe in,breathe out-now banished.
i am a casual distraction. or at least that is the lie. i can't breathe without him. i draw in short,shallow gasps of air. short,shallow gasps of existence. dull,unsatisfying. my entire being feels dull,unsatisfying--as if it were waiting for his touch to charge it. his touch to electrify the current. his touch to restart my heart. blow the dust out of the corners. wake up trust.
he has his own demons. some real. some conjured. i must wait. wait for the light to burn through the darkness he draws himself into when the demons get too loud. he use to reach for me. but it scared us both. i have too much to lose and he has too much to gain and the insanity of the issues just overwhelmed us both.
so we are at arms length. and it is slowly killing me. i miss his smile. i miss his touch. i ache for his touch. my heart misses its home. broken hearted at arms length from my soul. i could die this way....